As a therapist, I am trained to not let my own personal reactions seep into my work. It isn't as easy as it sounds. A couple of summers ago, I'm sitting in the kitchen of one of my patient's home. Section 8 (low-income) housing. A darling little house, nice kitchen. Paid for. I'm talking to her about her plans. She'd just finally rid herself of her abusive, drug-using, controlling boyfriend (and father of her two children) and was starting life over again. I asked her of her plans fo...

The first words that pop into my mind.... Animal House.... college.... ::smirk::: So when my 12 year old comes home and says... 'we need to dress in togas for school on Friday,' I have to stop and take a deep breath. Relax, I told myself. There will not be kegs of beer in those middle school classrooms. All of them will be properly attired under their togas. None of them will lie on the floor in their toga dancing to "Shout!" Of course, I didn't tell my daughter any of those things. ...

I had eight new cases last week. In one week. I'm blaming our recent bout of nasty, gloomy, gray weather for the sudden upswing is my caseload and in people feeling depressed. I've noticed my negative mood myself and have been contemplating a trip to the local tanning salon just to get a sunlight fix. We had two inches of rain yesterday. It never stopped, not entirely. Gray lines of rain, running from gray skies to gray puddles of rain on the gray pavement. No color, not anywhere. ...

I spent time in my car today. With a seven minute commute, I don't have a lot of time to listen to the radio, surf channels, etcetera. I'm just thrilled to be able to drive my cute little car. But today was different. I was called as an expert witness in two cases today (something not that unusual). I spent time driving back and forth between home and court and, after being grilled in the morning, I was looking for something soothing to listen to. I hit the button for the 'lite' stati...

... times per week the average married American couple is engaging in sexual intercourse. Hmmmmm.... I guess as a couples therapist I see it being more like one and a half times per century! Lack of physical intimacy is one of the signs of a marriage in peril. Lack of physical intimacy almost always is a result of lack of emotional intimacy. Rebalance the emotional intimacy -- everyone is a happy camper. Emotional intimacy is really quite simple to establish. Pretend like you care. Yo...

Okay, maybe this isn't the most politically correct thing to be saying, but I get the bed to myself for five entire days. Before I get deluged with hate mail, I just have to say this. I won't have it totally alone. I will still have the forty-five lb. dog with me. And the six month old kitten. I'm excited because I won't be 'the wedge' for this week! The wedge. Most moms will understand this term. You are the wedge when you are stuck between the child (or the dog or the cat) and your hu...

This evening's entertainment was hauling six teenagers to a local Japanese steak house for Daughter#1's birthday. Freshmen and sophomores gathered around this table and the conversation flew fast and free. No topic was off limits and I just sat and laughed. Covering the pool is the newest euphimism for having sex... at least in this circle. Still, as your baby turns 15, as she readies herself to drive a car, find a job, launch herself into the real world, you just have to sit back and mar...

Thursday, November 06, 2003 It's been an interesting day. The Grim Reaper visited my grandmother during the procedure to have a pacemaker... what would be the correct word? Installed? Added? Placed? Anyway, one gets the picture. I guess the surgery was a bit more complicated than expected and the nurse came out to get permission to shock my grandmother's heart during the middle of the whole thing! Isn't that a question that they should ask before hand? The doctor treated her very cons...

...to blog again. I'm not sure how interesting people will find this, but it is a slice of my life. A slice of being a wife. A slice of being a mom. A slice of being a therapist. A slice of being me. As a mom, I have two daughters - one a full-blown teenager and one an almost teenager. I'm learning things that I really thought I knew as a therapist, but they are different now that those things are happening to me. Like the announcement at dinner Saturday evening that two of my daughter's fri...